I made some macro-level progress tonight. Some would call it inner game progress, perhaps. I have been working on some specific characteristics, and have had in mind a somewhat specific idea of a stronger version of myself. And tonight, thanks to work I have been putting in mostly outside the arena of actual game, I embodied that next version quite fully. With every set, I was unreactive and quite present, and I also came from a buyer frame and embodied that. Various personality traits I have been deliberately working on for the past month or so are starting to stick and become natural to me. I recognize this progress and am grateful for it.
Some specific good things I did with the first set of the night: eye contact, unreactiveness to shit tests, patience, talked slowly and left pauses, and dropped at least one sexualizing comment (though they helped me get there since their topic of conversation when I rolled up was about dating apps). I got some attraction here from one of the girls, but she was with her mom and I wasn’t sure how to proceed (yes she was out drinking with her mom and friends). I probably could have hung out with them longer if I really wanted to persist.
The only set from tonight worth transcribing was this two set. They were at a couch set back from the dance floor. You had to walk down a kind of “hallway” to get to them. So it was a very telegraphed approach. I said “you guys are kind of hard to get to” and I perceived some…reluctance or resistance on their part. Of course, this kind of thing matters less and less to me as time goes on and I kept talking, blabbing about how the pressure is on walking up to them. Then I did a move I like to do, where I say “I’m so nervous, look” and I stick my hand out and it’s steady as a surgeon’s. I get a good response from this about 8/10 times. I think it communicates both an awareness of the social situation and the fact that I am not in fact nervous and not super invested in their reaction or perceptions.
Anyways, I get into conversation with the cuter one. I qualified her as we discussed yoga, which is something I practice as well. She was a hot 22 year old yoga instructor and I made it my intention to number close her. I felt I could do it. I was on the “social offensive”, if you will, the whole time.
Their friends joined at some point. She said also “oh this is like an interview” and I was like “yeah, it is” and she said “if you were the CEO, would you hire me” and I said I wasn’t sure yet. In retrospect, this could have been a signal I needed to maybe make the conversation more free-flowing. Can’t be sure–my general mode tonight was to be quite challenging and, as I said, to come from a buyer’s frame.
So I kind of cut the conversational thread and said “Look, this is what’s going to happen now: we’re going to be talking, and your friends are going to drag you away to go to the bathroom or something. You should give me your number before that.”
And lo as I spake thus it occurred before she could even answer. She was going to go and I took out my phone and said here let me get your number, and she said “why don’t I take your number and text you”. I felt that was a soft no, but went through the motions anyways. I should have called myself from her phone so I could get her number and at least try to turn it around via text. However, in my head I was like “you know what, if she wants to, it’ll happen”. There may be some wisdom to that generally, but in order for me to develop I need to keep pressing and persisting. Though I regret not calling myself from her phone, it was still an improvement, and hence a win, since I have dropped the ball on asking for numbers so often recently. More importantly though, who I fundamentally was during the set was a much more attractive and superior version of myself, and I hope to double down on this personal development and make it even more permanent.